Today was a good day!

I finally got past my mental block and got off my butt and cleaned!  It's been since probably December. I had my surgery and then the complications, after that it just was too overwelming to even know where to start. Today I woke up and decided I just needed to pick a place and start. I didn't get to everything that I wanted to do today but I did a lot and that's a great thing!

I'm going to start going to the gym in the morning. When I was going in the morning it gave me more energy at night and it didn't give me any reason to skip after work. My new program requires at least 30 minutes of activity a day. That is going to be a challenge, however my new mantra is from the wise Yoda,  "Do or Do Not. There is no try."

Goals for the upcoming week

Tomorrow I need to do some cleaning. I was going to today and then didn't. SHOCKING!...Tomorrow my goal is to clean the kitchen and the living room. Do a load or two of laundry. Hit the gym.

My goal for the week is to cook. I'm tired of eating out, not to mention it is sooo expensive. I need to get up off the couch and do stuff. As Yoda says "Do of Do Not. There is no try." I just need to get up and do it.

Getting in My Own Way

I hate it when everything is going good and then I get in my own way. Why oh why do I start to feel down in the dumps when everything is going right? I feel like I'm getting depressed. All I want to do is eat junk. Is this because I'm still struggling with whether I actually want to live or not?

I think this is the time when I just need to push through my feelings. I always give in to them and start eating everything in sight and then I'm back where I started and have to start all over again. I'm sick and tired of having to start over again. I want to keep going. I need to keep going to prove to myself that I can lose the weight that I will lose weight.