Confidence Killer

I've lost my sense of peace. I've been doing really well the last month and a half. I've been in a really good place.  Yesterday I was told I've lost weight but it's not as much as expected. I should be happy that I've lost weight (I have no idea how much) but it killed my confidence. My biggest fear is that I'm not capable of losing weight and keeping it off on my own. When I stopped weighing in I knew it was a risk but now I'm feeling the weight of that decision. I have 61 more days until I'm supposed to weigh in again. I don't want to get to the end of those days and find out I've barely lost weight.  I'm trying to focus on all the things I've done right the last month and a half. I really am.  I want the things that I've done right to outweigh the one thing that hasn't gone right.

I'm not going to lie to myself and say that I have no idea why the weigh loss is less than expected because my water in take has been up and down and my eating hasn't been great. Don't get me wrong it's been ok but just not great. I need to do better. I don't want to let my fear of failure make me choose not to finish what I've started. I stopped weighing in for a reason. I wanted to concentrate on doing the right things and let the weight take care of itself. I have been doing great things. I've made great accomplishments but I haven't been doing all I can do with the eating and water. I stopped doing my meal logs and I haven't been consistent on eating. I started writing down what I've been eating again today. I know I should have been doing that anyway regardless of whether I send those to Patrick. It's so easy to kid myself that what I've been eating isn't that bad but if I see it in black and white then it's easier to see whether or not that is actually true.

Really this shouldn't kill my confidence because I KNOW I haven't been doing what I need to do consistently enough. I've been worried for weeks now that I wasn't making progress and it turns out with good reason. I don't want this to get to me. I just need to start doing the things I know will get me results - drinking water consistently, eating every 3 hours, and writing down what I'm eating.  I'm not going to let this derail all of the progress I've made. I've been in a positive mood now for a month and a half. I haven't had a binge in a month and a half. Both of these things are huge for me. I just need to focus on this and make the adjustments I need to make and trust that it will be enough to produce results.