I have something on my mind that I never like to acknowledge - the holiday's make me sad. They make me think about how alone I feel. How I wish I had a family that got along and wanted to be together, to play silly games, to watch movies, to just hang out, to laugh together, to joke together. That just isn't my family. My family just tolerates each other and sometimes not even that. It makes me sad that my sisters haven't really spoken in about a decade. I makes me sad that I can't have a relationship with my dad because he is an angry and bitter person. I makes me sad that when we actually do get together we barely talk, we eat, and then go our separate ways. This to me is not a family. To me it's a bunch of strangers that happen to be related. I hate being reminded of this. There is a song by Linkin Park that sums up my feeling on this time of the year perfectly it's called "My December". The line goes this is my december, this is my time of the year, this is me pretending this is all I need.
I don't want to get depressed. I feel like I'm getting depressed though and I don't know what to do to stop it.
No comments:
Post a Comment