I Quit! Part 1

I made an important decision this week.  I've decided to stop trying to lose weight!.....Now before you sign me up for the crazy farm here me out.

For months now I've felt like I've been focusing on the wrong things.  A few months back I even decided to take action and design what I felt I should be focusing on.  It worked well - for a while.  Then I started doubting myself and falling back into my old habits of trying to fix where I went wrong with my weight loss.

I was given to great pieces of advise recently.  One by, Patrick, my friend and former weight loss coach and the by Jenn, also my friend and life coach. The focus of this blog post is the advice that Patrick gave me.

First, Patrick told me he thought I should approach the whole weight loss thing like I do my work.  I had to think about that one.  I tend to overwork and my boss says that I need to delegate more.  Basically I'm a control freak.  Ah, but I'm not a control freak anymore.  I'm a recovering control freak.  When I really thought about how to apply weight loss to how I do my job, I'd realized how much I've changed my ways.  There was a time when I needed everything I did at work to be perfect.  My motto was if I want did done right, I need to do it myself.  I'd work an insane amount of hours to make that happen and was really cranky - ask anyone.  One day I realized I couldn't go on like that. I was miserable. I hated my job. I dreaded going into work.  I couldn't be perfect and it made me feel like a failure. I was ready to quit my job.  I'll admit I did try to quit several times but the owner of the company wouldn't let me. 

After I knew quitting wasn't an option I decided make some changes because clearly what I was doing wasn't working.  Instead of trying to work harder and keep that death grip on everything I decided I needed to quit trying so hard.  The truth is the office was way understaffed and there were and are too many things on my plate.  The old me said everything had to be done perfectly and right now.  The new me decided that I only have so many hours in the day and I wasn't going to worry about it anymore.  I work on the highest priority items for the day and get them done. Then I fit in the less important, to do items.  As long as I get the high priority things done I'm good.  I don't stress myself out when I look at a long list because I don't worry about it.  I just take the first must do of the day and I get to work. 

No, I can't devote all of my attention to every single thing that needs to be done but I've learned to do what I can and be okay with that.  Something amazing happened when I started doing this - I actually started being more productive.  I realized I spent a lot of time worrying.  Precious time that could be spent working instead of driving myself crazy.

I tend to obsessively worry in my personal life.  When I really thought about what Patrick said I realized he had a very valid point.  However, the first things I thought about were all the things I do wrong.  I still have trouble delegating.  I still tend to go into fix it mode when I find mistakes others have made instead of teaching them what they did wrong so they correct it. Compared to how I am overall these things aren't that important.  Yes, there are things I'm working on and have to make a conscious effort everyday to do but my general approach to my job has made my life so much easier.

I think the single most important change I made in my job want to stop over thinking things.  I don't spend a lot of time thinking about all of the things I have to do, when they are do, etc.  I just take action.  Yes, when I get to a particular task I will think about the best approach if it's a brain teaser but I don't obsess over it.  If it requires some thought I go on to the next task to give my brain time to formulate a strategy for that particular task.  I have found it works wonders.  I get other things done and soon I have figured out what I need to do for the task I was stuck on.  It's never failed me to get set it aside until I know what I'm going to do instead of forcing myself to sit and beat my head against the wall until I will myself to figure it out and do it before I move on.  So why do I continue to beat my head against the wall when it comes to weight loss? 

I knew I have to do things differently months ago when I designed a new system that mirrors how I handle myself at work.  I didn't realize it at that time but I do know that Patrick suggested I handle my personal life like I do my job.

I've treated my weight loss like the task that I continue to beat my head against the wall until I solve it. Thinking about how to solve it won't solve it.  I need to stop trying so hard.  I need to let go of that death grip I have with it and just relax and take things as they come...which leads me to what I learned from Jenn.  That will be explained in "I Quit part 2".