Just Another Day

I really don't feel like writing today but I want to honor my commitment. Today was another good day. I got up and cooked. There was no resistance it just was something  I said I would do and did it.

I go back to the cardiologist tomorrow. I feel overwhelmed with this hole I find myself in.

I'm tired. Sometimes I think death would be kinder. All I want to do is not think or feel. I have to wonder why this struggle? The food addiction is part of the struggle but what I'm referring to is why is my struggle to be alone. And most of the time it's not my struggle. I'm also grateful to be alone. People are hard for me to understand. Never get too close.

So tired.